Letter #7 - New Year Nostalgia
systematic reviews, remembering why, and more
Good Afternoon friends,
Happy Saturday and Happy New Year.
I’ve delayed the release of this newsletter due to feeling like I needed more time to reflect on all that happened this 2022.
It was indeed a chonker.
Prior to drafting this newsletter, I actually went back and reviewed my past newsletters. I was tempted to compile those reviews and have that be this month’s newsletter, but it seemed too derivative…even for me.
I’ve realized that I tend to write a lot and can be quite verbose. To help folks better navigate and delve into their own curiosities, I will start to provide a high-level outline of the monthly letter.
(I also plan to experiment with a few short-form letters this year—stay tuned!)
In this month’s letter:
New Year Nostalgia
Anthony’s 2022 Review
doing it for myself
loose ends
New Year Nostalgia
I don’t know what it is, but I tend to get a looming sense of nostalgia around this time of year. (Yes, looming.)
More specifically, the week after the holidays and the week before my birthday - I find myself reflecting not only on the prior year but years prior.
I feel glum and much time is spent swirling around in winding thought. In part, this is due to the degree to which life slows down.
Less daylight,
More grey skies,
The cool air lurks.
Many memorable events happen on or around the New Year and I seem to succumb to vivid memory pangs and massive perspective shifts that stem from those past memories to my present self.
I say pangs because unfortunately, they tend to hurt.
I am not the same as I was before. And while I am moving, I am not cognizant of these changes.
And for better or worse, since I tend to be in a constant state of motion 11 months out of the year, it causes all the growing pains to hit at once.
The memories aren’t all bad, it’s just when I recall them, they seem so distant. They are no longer moments. They are memories.
And though this may seem blatantly obvious and simple, whilst raveled in the dizzy spell, I long for the moments.
I try to be intentional and put much effort into “being present.”
But what I think I am realizing is that my efforts may be the issue.
And that truly living in the present moment, is effortless.
I don’t have any answers here. This is just a quandary that arose from my recent contemplations, and I wanted to write it out to try to find some clarity.
Regardless, I am just going to keep trying my best, learn what I can from these memories, and focus on the moments…(but not too hard.)
Anthony’s 2022 Review:
As I’ve ripened, I have discovered the power of reflection, connecting the dots, and learning from the past.
This year, I have attempted to systemize this habit.
Here is my current process:
First, I perused the past four volumes of ABoK’s (Anthony’s Book of Knowledge)
Most of which contain daily journal entries, Saturday Study notes, and other recollections, feelings, or scribbles jotted down throughout the year.
Since most days follow a similar structure (morning braindump, daily Stoic/Tao notes, and then a to-do list) I targeted the days where there are more scribbles than usual. Where there were breaks in my pattern.
This primarily indicated any lows and noted them as thorns.
(I reviewed every journal entry in the past years, but I’ve found it takes too much time and effort to extract any lessons. I now know that it would be better to move the “ABoK scan” to the end of the process, and use it to dive into any specific days. ie - it’s a better flow from macro to micro. Lesson learned!)
Next, I went through my Gratitude Journal and riffled through the entries to target my highs. This year I tried to identify the people, events, or things that I wrote down often. Now I am looking for the patterns themselves.
Noting the things that stood out and repeated as my roses.
Next, I looked through my camera roll to give me a high-level overview of the past year. This allowed me to visually recall both the highs and lows I previously noted, as well as fill in any of the gaps I may have missed.
Lastly, in the proper spirit of systemization, I went through my “Weekly/Monthy Reviews” in my Notion.
I picked up some templates and questions from my favorite writers and tried to answer them on my weekly Sync-Work Sunday calls.
(Templates for my weekly, monthly, and annual reviews can be found here!)
Again, I looked for any trends of things that gave and took energy from my life on a weekly/monthly basis.
Finally, I compiled all these notes and put them into an Annual Review where I documented any key learnings to be aware of or implement in the new year!
And that’s it!
Ultimately, I hope to continue to iterate and hone in on this process to make it more frictionless and useful. If you have any questions or comments on this year’s process, please reply below!
And to wrap…here are a few of Anthony’s 2022 takeaways:
Too much good can be bad - moderation is key
Don’t confuse opportunities with distractions.
Be as transparent and honest as possible
Communicate expectations and boundaries openly and clearly. Honesty is the best policy.
The pain of regret is more than the pain of failure
Take the risk.
Value the Journey > Destination
“You’ll never reach the top of the mountain unless you enjoy the climb.”
How you get there, matters
Breathe
Life is a moving balance. Don’t be too rigid.
Energy Audit
Energy Giving:
Intentional, deep Conversations (with folks I love)
Free time/space to read, write, think, and dive into curiosity.
More climbing, more soccer, more sauna, more music
Energy Draining:
the feeling or weight of “shoulds”
perfectionism/procrastination
people pleasing
If you would like to dive deeper here are a few other of my reviews:
Anthony’s Top 10 of 2022 book list (coming soon)
Updated 20’s section (coming soon)
doing it for myself
After amassing double-digit subscribers to this newsletter, I turned up the heat to ensure that I was creating valuable content for anyone who devotes their time and attention to reading these.
By doing so, I also turned up my habit of perfectionism.
I got so stressed out by trying to write something “worthy” of the eyeballs of friends and family, that I gradually slipped into a cycle of procrastination that lead to binging on caffeine and nicotine and resulted in late, lonely Friday nights.
Not sustainable. Not fun.
On my most recent visit home in Ohio, I got coffee with my friend Brock, whose photography, blog posts, and overall creativity helped inspire my original website and blog that turned into these newsletters.
He often reads these letters on Saturday mornings and usually accompanies them by sending an encouraging text noting something that he enjoyed, or didn’t agree with.
After sitting down and catching up on life, I released the burning question that tossed and turned inside me.
I asked him how he was able to post so dang much and so confidently.
In short, he said that every time he was posting, writing, or creating - he was doing it for himself.
As long as he was proud of the work he created, that is all that mattered.
In 2022, Brock decided to go full-time freelance.
Forgoing a steady salary (and overall stability) whilst also in pursuit of a proposal, wedding, and a year packed with travel…the bold move paid off.
A year of “doing it for himself” landed him a lovely wife, unforgettable memories, and a true sense of accomplishment. He was successfully able to take his passions and turn them into a career.
Brock is my friend who first introduced me to fine bourbon and cocktails. A prime example and culmination of his efforts this past year is that he was recently invited by Patrón to travel to Death and Co. in Denver and shoot the USBG Patrón Perfectionists National Finals. (Wild right?! I didn’t know this existed either!)
Our conversation reminded me of the whole reason I started this newsletter.
For myself.
To document my journey publicly and (maybe) share some learnings along the way.
Some of the best and most creative work emerges from a place of lighthearted curiosity with no audience, agenda, or end goal in mind. I got so caught up with the final product, that I forgot my why and didn’t enjoy the process.
I plan to carry this intention into the new year and to continue to remind myself to frikin’ have some fun and not take everything so seriously.
That as long as I am doing it for myself, the rest will follow.
Cheers to you, Brock. Here’s to creating more for ourselves in 2023.
(Want more Brock? Check out his site here!)
loose ends
With all this deep reflection and thought about the past, what logically follows is some sort of projection into the future.
But to be honest. I haven’t had the energy to do so.
Rather than self-flagellate and be frustrated that I don’t have my “2023 Goals” and “Personal GANTT chart” all set up and broken down into Projects in Notion - I am taking a step back, reframing, and trying to be really intentional about what goals I set.
I have realized that I tend to make very ambitious goals, then throughout the year…continue to add more goals on top of those original goals. So on and so forth.
A lot of things get done…but not always the important things.
Another version or manifestation of this same behavior is my habit of people pleasing or saying “yes” to everything, and everyone.
In the moment, it is all good and dandy - but what ends up happening is I find that weekends upon weekends get filled with these “previous commitments.”
Although most of these commitments are genuinely GOOD things- I’ve noticed that without ample rest or time in between, I tend to get burnout and struggle to be present.
Then the good intention of wanting to spend quality time with everyone, I spread myself too thin, and the quality slowly diminishes.
All this to say, I have declared that January is my month to clean up any Loose Ends or straggler to-do list items that have been taking up too much mental RAM, for too long!
For those tasks that aren’t completed in January, I am delegating or deleting them from my list, no longer allowing them to take up precious bandwidth.
I have also declared that Q1 is going to be my experiment of saying “no.”
I am committing to saying no to most, if not all, commitments, requests, and events that come my way. (non-mandatory obviously)
As a chronic people-pleaser. I am both excited and terrified.
Excited to bring more clarity, understanding, and direction.
Terrified to feel (and/or become) selfish, arrogant, or like a garbage friend.
Framing it as a temporary experiment has helped me cope, and writing it down publicly makes me accountable.
Here’s to saying NO.
Value
Quote:
“We do not learn from experience…we learn from reflecting on experience.”
-John Dewey
Applicable.
Tweet:
Might be the best tweet of 2022.
Blogpost/Newsletter: “not disappointing myself” by Ava @
“I plan, I anticipate, I analyze. I get mad at myself when fuck up. And it works pretty well most of the time, for a lot of things in my life. But when it comes to feelings it just doesn’t work. You can’t fake feelings. You can’t perform your way into the truest, most beautiful version of your life”
You can’t perform your way into the truest, most beautiful version of your life.
It’s this line that’s the dagger for me. If any of my writing resonates with you, I highly recommend taking the 8min to read this post.
Podcast:
You knew what to expect. You know that it’s a good one.
Current Reads:
Cat’s Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut
(I lost my Amazon affiliate access (#bigsad) but honestly, this reinforces my intention to do this for me…and uhh not for money.)
As always, if you have made it this far thank you.
It really does mean more than you know. I can’t wait to see what’s in store for 2023.
If you have any questions, comments, or ways I can improve this newsletter, please reply to this email or tweet at me!
Much Love,
Anthony